


This Feeling

by Eleanor_Bennet (Eleonor_Bennet)



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Chloe Decker Finds Out, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Lucifer, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-10 04:44:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10429380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eleonor_Bennet/pseuds/Eleanor_Bennet
Summary: Set after season 2 winter finale - can diverge a little from the series' major events.He was gone. 'Till then, Chloe never realized how important Lucifer had become to her... Never realized how deeply she was in love with him and how much it hurt, now, his absence.But she definitely didn't want to surrender to the pain... She wanted to struggle and get her life back.And yet, something started to happen to her... Get rid of that feeling isn't easy. Especially if someone's in love with the Devil.





	1. Prologue

_She was walking in a place full of light. It was too much for her little blue eyes, that were scanning the place to take note of every clue that could've made her realize where she was._

_She kept walking and walking and walking, and at every step Chloe felt a strange feeling of emptiness in her chest, a sort of inadequacy peeped out in her confused mind, in her fast-beating heart. "Where am I?" she shouted at the vacuum around, panic suddenly rushed in her and almost not letting her breathe. "Is anyone here?" She started running, her steps softened by the pure white pavement under her feet, while the light became stronger, almost blinding. "Mom? Dad?" Tears burned in the back of her eyes and the child couldn't do anything, except abandoning to them and to the absurd fear of solitude. She shouldn't be there. Somehow, she knew it was terribly wrong being in there. It wasn't her place. But, after all, she didn't ask to actually be there..._

_She wiped her tears, determined to discover what was happening, when suddenly the floor under her feet split and a big, black chasm appeared in front of her terrified eyes. All the light was swallowed by the hole and it was then... Then, that she saw him._

_Someone was falling in that emptiness, his screams broke the silence that have been surrounding Chloe and flames began to wrap him, to burn him... Even his wings seemed to be uncapable of fighting that strenght that was making him fall. The girl's eyes widened and she started screaming for help... Someone had to save him!_

_But no one was there. No one, except her._

_She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, one of her feet already moving to the verge of the hole. Another deep breath and she let herself jump... Someone had to save him._

_Chloe fell, her hands stretched out in a desperate attempt to catch his._

 

She opened her eyes while her father was gently shaking her by the shoulders, telling her to wake up. "It was just a bad dream, Monkey. Just a bad dream!" Chloe blinked, her heart pounding hard in her chest and her eyes working hard to get used to the dark. "He was... burning! I had to save him! I had to!" She wandered, while John Decker laid down on the bed next to her, surrounding his child with an arm. "You were dreaming, Chloe. No one's burning, I can assure you. Were you in that white place, again?"

The little girl arranged in his father's hug, her eyes fixed on the window in front of her, while her mind tried to recall what she had seen. "Yes... But this time I wasn't alone. There was a hole. A deep, deep hole... It was like something that didn't have an ending. And there was a man... An angel who was falling..."

"Your imagination runs wild, Chloe... Did you watch one of your mom's strange movies?" Her father joked, wanting to keep her calm. "No! No, daddy! It was true!" "It was a dream, Monkey." Seeing her child so adamant, John Decker sighed and then pointed his finger to the window "See that star?" Chloe nodded, watching the sky become clearer "It's the Morning Star. According to someone, it was created by an angel, before he was cast out from Heaven. It's the first star that appears in the sky, every day. You see... Even if that angel fell, his star can still rise, and it's the brightest of all the stars in the sky." The child looked briefly at him, suspiciously. John Decker sighed again "What I'm trying to say... In a very bad way, apparently, is that maybe... Maybe the man you saw, has been saved in the end... Maybe, just like that star, he has been able to rise again. He's safe."

Even if her dad wasn't so good in telling stories, Chloe liked his words and suddenly the fear disappeared from her heart and mind.

But still, that morning, before dawn, that dream and the man's screams seemed to harass her. She unraveled from her father's embrace and ran to the window, her hand rested on the cold glass and her blue eyes almost enchanted by the superb light of the Morning Star. "It's so beautiful... But so alone..." She sighed, then went back to bed and curled up in her father's side. "I'll keep her company from now on... And... And maybe next time I'll even save the poor angel." She whispered, mostly to herself "I promise."

Her father smiled. He had no doubt that her stubborn daughter would've kept her promise.


	2. "Him"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chloe's going through a difficult case, all the while facing the pain in her chest due to Lucifer's departure.

Rationality was her thing.

Chloe Decker always had some firm points in her mind and had always believed that she could classify everything in right or wrong, good and bad.

Of course, she knew the existance of a huge series of greys, a lot of little shades between those fixed categories, but she liked to think that they were only variations on the theme. Something that she couldn't have influenced her vision of the world. Right or wrong, good or bad. That's how she liked to explain all the events in human life. That's how she had lived her life.

_Right_ had been her marriage to Dan, the perfect consequence of what was her love.

_Right_ had been carrying her child and giving all her love to the little creature that filled her days and heart from eight years.

_Right_ was giving all her efforts to find the responsible of that crimes that were part of her job, part of her life.

_Wrong_ had been giving Dan hundreds of chances, when it had been crystal clear that his absences were just an excuse to fight. To make their feeling, day after day, dying.

Her whole life was a caleidoscope of wrong and right choices, and it had been strangely comforting the fact that she had those firm points. Those categories guided her days, helped her building her character in a neverending comparison with all the people she made contact. Those categories had made her the best detective the LAPD could have. But something suddenly had changed. That balance, that black and white had changed in hundreds and hundreds of colours. Her calm, boring existance became an explosion of vitality, new emotions, unexpected things... Her life had been filled by _him_.

The only thought of _him_ made her heart clutch in a grip so tight she couldn't breathe. He was gone. Gone without a word, without even bothering answering her 337 voicemails. Gone. And since that day, three weeks before, Chloe had become an empty shell, a ghost of herself. Of course she had to be strong for Trixie, she had to appear as calm as usual on work, but every single time she was alone with her thoughts, she felt lost.

Fortunately, the last case had took her mind always occupied. Thinking about work helped her make through the day, and she had to admit... The last three murders had scared her a little.

Usually she was strong enough to get over fear, but there was something in those cases that made her skin crawl. There wasn't a specific pattern in the choice of the victims, so it was difficult to understand the murderer's mind, but one thing was certain: each victim had a clue on the body that might have lead the detectives to the next murder. The problem was that the clues weren't so easy to decipher and they weren't able to prevent the next two murders.

"So what d'you think is this? A black wall? A... vinyl?" Dan turned the picture in his hands, for the hundred time examining that piece of paper. It was late, too late and their minds were literally blowing. Why leave a clue so meaningless? A black thing with some white-ish piece on the right, that certainly had something written on it but, obviously, the murderer had cut it. Chloe put her head in her hands, sighing loudly "I think we have to stop for today. My eyes are burning and, plus, Trixie's sitter has to go in an hour and I can't ask Maze to stay home again. She'll be mad at me for the rest of the week if I don't give her the chance to... Well, do whatever she does when she's out!" The thought of going back home wasn't appalling, but she felt the urge to hug her daughter and find some peace sleeping. Dan nodded, rubbing his eyes and wearing his jacket. "Do you want me to get you home?" Since _his_ departure, her ex husband was acting like the perfect friend. He was there for Trixie when it was clear that she needed to be left alone for a while, he took her coffee every morning when she arrived at the precinct, he sometimes offered to take minor cases just to let her feel less weight at work. Chloe was more grateful that she could express in words. Shaking her head, she offered him a smile "No, there's no need. You have your free morning tomorrow, I don't want to bother you by taking me here. And I have to go to Trixie's school early to talk to one of her teachers - I'll let you know why she called me - so I need my car. But thank you..."

" 'k. But please text me when you're home." She touched his arm lightly, before taking her bag and the papers and leaving the precinct.

It was a mild night in LA. A soft breeze ruffled her already messed hair while she walked to her car, but that calm was so in conflict with her troubled mind that she didn't even notice the beauty of the starry sky or the pleasure of that placid wind on her skin. Whenever she left work, she turned back to sad, miserable Chloe and she was angry. Angry with _him_ , angry with the fucking murderer and, most of all, she was angry with herself. Why did she allow her heart to falling so deeply for a man like _him_? She might have expected it. She might have known that she was only a woman to conquer and nothing more. When she had showed _him_ her affection, her feelings, he ran away. That bloody coward!

She didn't realize she was in her car until her hands, as an old habit, went on the wheel and turned white because of the strenght with which she was tightenin' it. With a growl, Chloe started the engine and drove home. Like a robot, she parked the vehicle and walked in the warm reassurance of the silent house.

The babysitter was sitting on the couch next to a sleeping Trixie, no sign of Maze in the room. "Hey Barb! Everything's ok?" The girl lightly got up and smiled at her "Yes, Ms. Decker. Trixie ate - no chocolate, I swear -, we watched Moana for the tenth time and then she collapsed here" Chloe drowned in the vision of her little angel sleeping, a smile ghosting on her lips "Thank you. Here, take the rest. Drive safely!" Barb went out and she remembered to text Dan to reassure him she was safe at home. Then, she took Trixie in her arms, paying attention to not wake her, and put her in her bed.

Chloe was exhausted. The case, her feelings... She felt stuck in a limbo full of problems and pain and she didn't know how to get out of it. Sighing, she removed her shoes and hugged her daughter tight, finally closing her eyes... Hoping to sleep without dreams.

* * *

 

The morning came too soon, but the detective was quite happy to feel finally restored. It was merely dawn, yes, but sleeping without nightmares or without dreaming of _him_ was a true miracle.

She stirred, yawning and finally getting up from Trixie's little bed. As usual, she took a look at the window, where the lonely star was shining fiercely in the morning sky. Chloe didn't remember when that strange habit had begun, but every morning she felt the urge to look at the sky and make sure that her star was there. It was reassuring... Plus, she knew that had been her father who had talked to her about the star, so she didn't feel like stopping the habit. It was a sort of connection... To her father and to something else that she couldn't figure out.

With her mind clear, Chloe walked in the kitchen to find a dishevelled Maze drinking God-knew-what. " 'Morning roommate!" She told a bit loud, making the woman literally jump on the chair "Decker are you mad? My head is exploding, can you please shut up?" Chloe raised her hands in defeat, rolling her eyes and silently opening the fridge to take the necessary to prepare breakfast for later. She had almost an hour to look at the paperwork, before Trixie would've wake up. "Thanks for the coffee, you're so kind" She sarcastically told Maze, that growled something that sounded like "I don't drink that shit."

"You know, after a wild night having vodka for breakfast isn't a very smart idea!" The woman sent her a gaze that made Chloe almost chill "None of your business what I drink or not. I had to follow a bastard all the night, but the bloody man was too clever. He realized I was following... Ah, but I catched him!" Her grin didn't hide the violent satisfaction she was feeling, so Chloe decided to not make answers about what happened to the man after. She imagined he was in jail with more than scratches or bruises...

"Anyway, why are you wearing yesterday's clothes? Did you finally get.... You know, laid?" Maze smirked, taking a sip of her drink. Chloe violently blushed and immediately shook her head "No! I simply fell asleep near Trixie. You know I don't... I'm not..." Words died in her throat, her eyes focused on the eggs and coffee she was making. "You have to move on, Chloe." Maze knew that this was a dangerous topic, but she was doing her best to be her friend. "I know... I just can't, for now." Both of them sighed and for sure they were both thinking about the same person. And both not in pleasant terms.

Taking a sip of her coffee, Chloe decided to focus on the paperwork since now her head was well rested. Again, she took the mysterious picture and looked at it, trying to understand what the Hell it was. It was Maze that, with a furtive look, suggested something interesting "It's the back of a car! Look, this can be part of the posterior plaque." Chloe's eyes widened "It makes sense... but how many black cars are in LA? We can't control every each of them" The initial relief was immediately transformed in discouragement. "But..." Her mind was already at work, and the answer she got at the end of her brain storming wasn't one she liked. "We found the first victim in that warehouse..... And the second only two blocks away from Lux...." The realization let her blood freezing in her veins. Maze was looking at her in disbelief and maybe with a little of fear in her eyes. "That means the next is..." "Lucifer."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally I decided to post this chapter! I was unsure, I still am but I wanted to try and go on with the story.  
> I'd like to thanks Kanshou for her advices, although I've decided to post the chapter with all my mistakes, just like how my brain thought it :')  
> So, sorry for mistakes!  
> I hope you enjoyed it. Comments and suggestions are very very welcome


	3. Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Not all the storm come to disrupt your life..."  
> But this one, maybe, yes.

"Ok, how can we find him?" 

 

Ella's voice sounded alarmed, but somehow excited. It was the first, true lead in the case, even if it was about a possible victim and not about the responsible. But it was something. 

And _something_ was always better than _nothing_.

 

Chloe sat at her desk, absent-minded, hands in her hair and eyes somewhere else.

Two different pains were heavily settled in her heart, and she wasn't able to understand which one was worst.

Was it the one for Lucifer's leaving? Or was it the worry for his safety? 

How could she deal with that ache in her chest, which was squeezing harder and harder her heart 'til she could barely breathe? 

 

"Maze is figuring it out. I don't want to know how." She replied to the lab tech, massaging her temples and deciding to take a sip of her - now too cold - black coffee.

"Oh, is she playing her bounty-hunting magic? I... Just hope she'll be fast enough..." 

 

"Already told you that I don't want to know how she'll be able to find Luc... _Him_. And when she'll do it, Dan will warn him about this case. That's it." 

She'd been harsh - a lot- but it was all Chloe could manage to say in that moment.

The only thought of seeing him again in the precinct was... Well, she didn't know, exactly. 

If it wasn't for her incredible sense of justice, she would've left the case to Dan and stop. But no, she wanted to find the perp, she wanted so badly to see him (or her)  in prison, that she had to go through this awful situation. 

_She had to..._

 

"Ok, Chlo... Just let me know if there's any news, ok?"

Ella's voice was soft, and luckily she disappeared immediately from Chloe's view, 'cause the detective really hated pity. And pity was all she had had during the last few weeks. 

God, she hated to feel like this, but she wasn' t an actress anymore. She didn't want to act like everything was just fine, because :

a) she still didn't feel good after the poisoning and

b) she was tired of hiding her feelings. 

So ok, she wanted to be grumpy, dark and twisty because she _felt_ grumpy, dark and twisty. 

She jumped when her phone suddenly rang, her heart pounding faster than ever when she saw an unknown number on her screen. "Decker" she tried to keep her voice steady, emotionless, but something might have been betrayed her, 'cause the woman on the other end sighed.

"Maze here! Don' t worry, roomie."

 

"Why are you calling me from a Vegas phone  number?"

  

"I found him."

* * *

 

Las Vegas.

Of course he chose that city to run away from her.

So much for all the kind words he said that time on the beach! 

Thinking back to that day, Chloe felt all the anger and irritation rising in her whole body. For days she'd just kept them hidden inside, not wanting to show how she really felt even if she knew it was crystal clear. 

She was hurt. And angry. And irritated.

There was no other way she could feel, not after the silent promises he made, his little smiles and that kiss.

God, did she truly misunderstood everything? 

She was sure about the truth in his eyes, those dark brown orbs that sometimes looked at her as if in awe. Was it all in her imagination? Those little touches between them, their undeniable connection, the complicity, the need to feel reassured they both were safe after a dangerous case, the teasing, their usual bickering... Was it all _unreal_? 

For days she'd pushed those thoughts away, but the perspective of seeing him very soon - _too soon_ \- was awakening it all. 

 

"Chloe?" 

 

Biting her lips and pushing back the tears, she faced a confused Daniel. Clearly he was talking to her from some minutes. And clearly she didn't hear a word.

"Yes?" 

 

"The lieutenant... He says the case is ours and that Lucifer was your partner, so... Well..." 

 

"I can't come to Las Vegas, Dan. I... I can't... "

 

And then, in that moment, under the intense gaze of his ex husband,  Chloe felt all her walls breaking down.

She couldn't take it anymore. A single tear, then a second, then a third, and suddenly she was crying in the middle of the precinct, as if in one of her worst nightmares. The strong woman was just _a woman_.

Flesh and bones, no armors, no shields around her... Just her and her pain. 

Dan immediately led her to the interrogation room, away from curious gazes, and just let her pour out everything. 

When her sobs subsided, he risked to talk.

"I know this case is hard. A serial killer, your ex partner, a trip to Vegas and all your personal problems... I know. I get it." The man put his hands on Chloe's shoulders, hoping to seem reassuring "But you'll have me. And Maze... Even if she's... Well, _Maze_. Anyway,  you won't be alone, and you can simply work, without actually having to talk to him." 

Dan felt her relax a little, and gave her a smile "You can do this, Decker!" 

She sighed, a small smile on her lipsl 

"Ok. Ok, I can do this."

* * *

The trip to Vegas was, after all, not so bad. Dan reassured her from time to time, or remained silent when she clearly appeared more distressed than the second before, or turned on the radio when the silence was too heavy to bear. 

After leaving Trixie to her mother, Chloe had fallen in a sort of catatonic state. Of course, she talked to the poor man who was driving the car as slow as he could,  but she was somewhere else with her mind.

She tried to focus on the case.

Did the killer know where his next victim was? Or was he unaware about the fact that Lucifer was out of town?

The LA victims made her think the second suggestion was the right one, but five days had gone on from the last murder.

So... What if the perp was on his way to Lucifer? What if he or she had already found him?

A long shiver ran through her spine, making her gasp for air just when Dan parked the car in front of the luxurious "Bellagio" hotel. 

He gave his key to the vallet and was about to help Chloe getting off the car, like a true gentleman, but she was too quick and was basically already facing the entrance door of the hall.

 

"I don't know what to expect..." 

 

Her voice was a whisper, and maybe she was talking more to herself than to her ex husband, but he heard her. And lightly touched her shoulders to reassure her.

 

"You're here as a cop. Focus on this. You're here to warn a potential victim, not to talk to someone who knows you." 

 

Dan heard her sigh, and then they were inside.

It was just as Chloe had depicted it while watching the pictures of the hotel on Google. A colored, artistic ceiling, elegant walls, fine carpets, suffused lighting and a lot - wow, _really a lot_ \- of clearly rich people all around her. Suddenly she felt inadequate in her pair of blue jeans and leather jacket. 

 

_"You're the cop. Just the cop."_

 

She repeated to herself, walking through the hall with Dan behind her. 

And then... Then a laugh reached her ears, a well known voice talked to someone and the world seemed to stop. 

Or maybe it stopped for real. 

Her eyes intercepted Lucifer' s brown orbs, deep blue sea and the darkest sand collided, mixed, crushed one against the other.

"Detective?"  

And the storm began. 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. I was quite "stuck", to be honest, but now I finally have the right inspiration to go on with the story (possibly without stopping the other one I'm writing!)  
> As always, comments, opinions, suggestions are very welcome!


	4. Bad decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She doesn't want to talk to him.  
> And she doesn't understand what's happening.  
> (No Candy involved, even if I loved her character so much)

 

_The world turned black._

_Voices, screams, her name repeated over and over again, but... She couldn't see anything._

_Black._

_And suddenly, silence._

_Worried about the suddenly change in the atmosphere, Chloe tried to stood up, and only then realized she had no body._

_She was... An entity. Light like a feather, or maybe less than it... Air. She was air, she was wind, she was the soft night breeze, and she was floating somewhere in the dark._

_Never Chloe had seen a place as dark as this. Pitch black surrounded her, ash fell like delicate snowflakes, its grey the only shade of color. She tried to catch some of it, but she was nothing, so the ash fell onto the ground, where her feet were supposed to be._

_Suddenly, she was able to see something. Or maybe someone... It was difficult to decide, since the body was laying as still as a corpse on the floor, the skin burned to the point the flash was clearly exposed._

_Pain..._

_She suddenly felt pain all over her being. A burning fire was raising from her very core, and the wind that she was, seemed to ignite the sensation till she felt herself like a living flame._

_The scarred figure screamed from pain, she screamed, too, and the previous silence turned in an unsustainable noise._

_"I wanted to save him! Why didn't you allow me to?"_

_A voice from somewhere upside captured her attention, while her gaze - did she have eyes? - focused on the most beautiful light she 'd ever seen._

_"Why did you make him fall?"_

_It was a little girl. She could sense it by her tone, lively and shrill. And it sounded familiar... Too familiar..._

_In a fluid movement, she flew up, leaving with a heavy heart the figure still screaming in pain. And then... Then she saw the source of the little voice._

_Herself._

_Blond locks were cascading on her shoulders, blue,  puffy eyes full of tears were staring down, down in the deep black below her little feet. "You made him fall! You're cruel!" She screamed to someone Chloe couldn't see, and she tried to remember to whom she may have been talking,  but... This wasn't a deja vu. She was sure about it, because she never saw, in her entire life, someone fallen and burnt like the man she had just left._

_And never had she been in this fluffy, ethereal place..._

_"It's your purpose... But for another time, Chloe."_

_A deep voice answered the desperate little girl, but she couldn't have it. Chloe felt irritation rising in her invisible chest at the sound of those words, and it wasn't hard for her to feel in the same state of mind of her little self._

_Angry._

_" You're cruel! He's suffering! Can't you see? He's suffering, and he's..."_

 

"Alone!"

A choir of "Chloe?" "Decker?" "Detective!"  assaulted her. Her head was spinning, she could feel her blood pulse into her brain. The light was too much, voices were too much, and when she stood up, the world itself was twisting and turning. 

Nausea grew in her stomach, her gaze still confused. What the hell was happening? 

The dream - could she call it that? - was too vivid in her mind. She could still feel the pain, the burning sensation on her skin, and she flinched when a hand touched her arm.

"Don't touch me!" 

Her voice was high - maybe too much - , and only in that moment she realized whose hand was now on her shoulder. And instinctively she stepped back, her eyes now full of rage mixed with the strange feeling she still had inside her heart and mind. 

" You _can't_ touch me." 

Her sharp voice made Lucifer raise his hands in the air. He nodded, immediately giving her space, even if he was worried.

_Scared to death_ , more specifically. 

The shock from the fact that she was there had been immediately substituted by the terror in seeing her on the floor, pale and unmoving. 

His heart still ached in his chest at the thought, but now he had to focus on what she needed. And Lucifer knew from the way Chloe was looking at him that he had hurt her... Deeply. And that what she wanted now was everything _but him_. 

He felt... Well, a part of him was glad. This  had been his purpose when he decided to leave her in LA. But another part of his very soul was petrified. Scared of losing her forever.

"I won't touch you, Detective." He whispered, and she stopped looking at him. 

And it bloody _hurt_. 

"You scared me, Decker. And it's a rare thing, you know?" Maze had worry written all over her face, but she knew well to not show it to her roommate,  if she didn' t want to see her annoyed all the time. 

"It must be the poison..." Dan stated, immediately repenting. So much for the _be professional_ he and Chloe had decided before leaving to Vegas! 

"The poison? I thought the antidote worked!" Lucifer's voice was filled with panic, his eyes traveling as mad first on Daniel, then on Chloe. 

"It worked, but it doesn't disappear all at once..." 

"I'm _fine_ , ok? It' s not a big deal. We're here for the case." 

Chloe still held her gaze everywhere but on Lucifer, her tone harsh, beyond professional. 

"Oh, Maze might have told me something, yes. So, I'm the next victim! Splendid!" He clapped his hands in his irritable way, and as a habit too radicated in her, Chloe rolled her eyes. 

A small hope started to grow inside the Devil 's heart... Immediately turned down by the glacial words she addressed to him. 

"Detective Espinoza will be outside your bedroom door for the night. Vegas PD gave us permissions to put cameras all around the hotel area, so you and your night partners will be safe."

" Night... _Partners_?" 

He didn't have time to reassure her, or to justify himself, 'cause the detective was already turning on her heels and going outside. 

He tried to reach her, but both Dan and Maze blocked him.

" Just... Give her time, man."

"Maybe she' ll listen to your shit, someday. But leave her be for now." 

"But..."

Dan sighed, touching with complicity his shoulder "You hurt her. But I somehow sense you have your reasons... She'll sense it, too. But not now." 

The Devil's eyes were on the door, now closed. People were walking around him, but all he could think about was the blond woman outside the hotel, still in life danger - maybe, since she just bloody _fainted_ before his eyes - angry with him... 

And suddenly his brilliant plan seemed the worst decision he ever made. 

Scratch it... It _was_ the worst decision he ever made. 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! Another chapter, and we're back to Chloe's strange dreams.  
> I swear we're close to discover the truth about these dreams, but I want to proceed slowly. Don't hate me!  
> As always, comments and suggestions will make me happy!


	5. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're scaring me"

Chloe tried to stay professional. 

When she reached the vain the Vegas PD gave them, her eyes focused on the many monitors in front of her. Or at least, they tried to focus. 

Every image turned into something else, into white clouds and silver palaces, and  feathered people and so many unexplainable things. 

And every time she saw one of those celestial things, her arm burned. 

_"Come on, Chloe, what the Hell..."_ her hands ran through her hair, pulled them with desperate anger. 

The woman hated to be so out of herself, but this time she couldn't do anything to fight the fear and panic the dream had left in her. And she didn't know how many hours passed, how many people entered and exited the hotel... She didn't know. For the first time in some time, she wasn't in control and that, _that_ scared her even more. 

"Dan... I need you to replace me" 

Somehow Chloe had reached her phone and had called her ex husband, and in minutes he was there, asking questions she couldn't answer. 

"Chloe, you're scaring me. I'll take you to a hospital" 

She heard him say, and she shook her head and fought his grip on her arms and ran... Somewhere in the dark. In some place where her mind could've stopped racing at a pace she didn't understand, where the fallen angel wasn't turning in someone she knew too well, where her hands didn't fail to catch him and prevent him to burn. 

And so, without knowing how, she was at _his_ door. 

"Lucifer..." 

She whispered through the fine wood, her hand tracing a desperate line on it after knocking with too much strength. 

Seconds passed by, and to her they seemed an eternity, but finally he opened the door. 

His hair were wet, only a towel covered his perfect frame and small water drops were falling on his glowing skin. But all Chloe could focus on was the way his form fitted perfectly with the one in her head, those brown eyes turning easily into red, flaming ones while fire burned around him. _Burned him._

"Detective... What..." 

Her breath catched in her throat, her arms embraced her little body as if she wanted to protect herself from something... Something too big for her. 

"What's happening to me?" 

She was able to say with a shaky voice. And then, his arms were around her and he guided her in his suite, cautiously letting her sit on the sofa. 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a short update to introduce the next part of this story.  
> I apologize for my slow writing, but it's not a good time for me in my life.   
> Hope you'll like it!


	6. Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I don't know"

Her hands were around a glass of water, shaking like mad. Lucifer never saw the detective this scared, and as a consequence he was scared, too. They weren't talking from weeks. He had imagined she was mad at him, but never, never thought Chloe could be in such a bad state. What on earth happened to her?

The fact that she was in his room, asking for his help told to his gut that something was wrong. Because oh... Dad forgive him if he knew how stubborn the detective could be! When she had told him her intentions to keep the actual situation "strictly professional", Lucifer knew she meant it for real. But now here she was... Trembling on the couch, looking lost and tired and confused. Looking at him with those impossibly blue eyes... "Detective, talk to me." He whispered, afraid to scare her even more. He didn't touch her, he didn't close the distance between them. He just waited, his heart pounding hard in his chest in the same way it did when they discovered she'd been poisoned. The only thought made him want to turn the world upside down, again. He clenched his fists, his knuckles turned white and he almost forgot how to breathe, when Chloe's voice filled the silence.

"I have dreams... Strange, vivid dreams." She sounded almost shy, as if she was ashamed of her words. Her eyes wandered on her unsteady hands, and her shoulders started to tremble again.

"Dreams? What kind of dreams? Are they from the poisoning?" Lucifer searched her gaze, desperate to read something in it. And what he saw, pained him even more, because... She was _hurt_. And terribly lost. All he wanted to do was shield her from whatever she was feeling, whether it was his fault or not. His instinct was to protect her, no matter what. So, he waited again for an answer. He needed to know how to help her. _He needed to_...

"No... No, I... I always saw some strange things in my dreams. But now they seem so... Real..." _Real_. The word felt heavy on her lips, and heavy in his heart. The last time he had pronounced it, the circumstances had been different... Very, _very_ different between the two of them. The Devil's heart ached, but he had to cancel that memory, for now, and focus on what the detective was trying to tell him.

"What do you see, detective?" He shifted from his position, and he stretched his arms to touch her hands. Strangely, she accepted his touch. She clinged to his hands as they were just what she needed so desperately in that moment, and tears started to form in her eyes.

" I want them to stop... Please... I don't understand. I don't..." And then she was crying on his still bare chest, his arms around her shoulders, his fingers touching slightly her locks.

"I'm here... I'm here. Tell me..." Chloe forgot her rage. Yes, it was still there, in her heart and mind, and she knew that in some time she and Lucifer would have to deal with it, but now... Now she needed a reassurance. And the only person she could trust in it was the man who was holding her in his arms. She sighed, one time, two times, three... And then...

"It's all silvery white. And... There's _someone_. There's always someone, even if I don't see them, I know they're there. Behind me. And then..." She shivered and untangled herself from the embrace, so she could face him. "Then a hole appears at my feet and... Someone's falling. He screams... And he has wings and he burns..." her eyes transfixed somewhere else, maybe in the dream itself, while Lucifer's widened in fear. Pure, simple _fear_. Because he knew that scene so well. He knew what she was seeing... And his blood boiled in his veins because he knew far too well why the woman was having visions like these.

"In my previous dreams I always tried to reach him, but they didn't allow me... They didn't. The last time was different..." Chloe started to talk again, and he tried to focus on her words.

"Different?"

"Yes... I fought them. And... And I fell too... And..." She touched her own arm "And I burned..." Her breath catched in her throat, her hand closed in a fist as if to let the fake pain disappear. It was fake, was it? The Devil was speechless. But he looked at her distress, at the hope written all over her face as if he was the only one who could've truly help her, and he had no heart to disappoint her again.

"... Why did you want to help him?" He was able to ask, voice shaking.

"He's always... So scared." Her voice cracked, sadness filled her face and the Devil himself felt his own eyes burning with tears. Tears that he couldn't stop, and he had to stand up and cover himself from her gaze, because he couldn't stand it. He couldn't...

"Lucifer?" He felt her rising up from the couch and walking in his direction, stopping just some steps away from him.

"Who's the man you see, detective?" His voice was low, broken...

"What...?"

"Who is the fallen angel you see?" Chloe felt her heart skipping a beat, because... The way he was making that question... He couldn't know what she saw in her dreams. But still, his question made her think he knew exactly what she was denying to herself, and that... That scared her and intrigued her at the same time.

"I... Don't know" She whispered. And he laughed, bitterly. Then, slowly as if time had stopped, he turned... And all she saw was _red_.

"You don't know, detective?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go. I don't know where this story will take me, but I'm enjoying this trip.  
> Hope you do it too!


	7. TNT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Truth are revealed.

There are moments, in life, that change everything. 

A degree, a red carpet, a loss, a badge, a marriage, a pregnancy... Chloe Decker had experienced them all, and had thought memories like that were and always would've been the most unforgettable ones. 

It's what a human mind thinks: whenever you reach a peak, you'll never experience something better than the adrenaline of the moment. 

It's strong and powerful and inebriating, the feeling of something you so long have dreamt of. You feel _invincible_. 

And the detective, for years, had convinced herself that now nothing in her life could've changed, since she had everything she always wanted - well, except for a promotion and just a little something...

She had a job, she had her daughter, she had friends, she had a house and a roommate. 

A common life, if she had to admit. Nothing special, but nothing to be ashamed of. She had had her dose of scandals, of course, but she had handled it all with dignity. 

So, when she'd discovered the poisoning and after Lucifer's departure, she just thought that  _that_ was another mountain, for her, to climb. Another peak to reach, to gain her freedom from the pain in her chest. 

But nothing... Nothing could've warn her about this. 

This wasn't a common peak. This wasn't common at all!

Suddenly, every single moment of her entire life seemed useless. So little in the perspective of the new, entire world she just was about to better discover, than every previous goal became just nothing in her shocked mind.

_Nothing_... Because what's a badge or a title or a white dress and a big party in front of the fact that her partner was the _actual Devil_? 

Yes, she said the D-word in her mind. And this time more than ever, she truly understood the meaning of it. 

The Devil. 

The actual Fallen Angel. 

Oh, she had had her signals before. Their first case, his _miracolous_ surviving to many, many bullets... And then the face she thought she had seen just right before shooting him (bullets seemed to be their thing, mh? ), or the Malcolm's case, or the wings or... 

_Dear God_ , how many signals did she ignore? 

How many times she scrolled his words from her shoulders and told him "man, you're crazy". 

She defined the Devil "crazy"! And told him he disgusted her, that she found him repulsive... 

Somehow, a shiver ran through her spine and fear gripped her heart. She told him so many bad things during their time together... And still, he always had been next to her. Well, at least since the kiss. 

_The kiss_... 

She had kissed the Devil. And some part of her heart - the one not angry nor scared - wanted to do it again. Clearly, she had big issues. Like, very very big. 

But... Now that she was thinking about all of this stuff... Why did Lucifer stay with her? 

Why did the Devil accept to be her partner? 

Her. A boring single parent, a workaholic, a _human_... 

Her blue eyes scrutinized the scarred figure in front of her. And ok, he was scary. _Truly_ scary. 

But let's not forget, Chloe Decker was angry. Not only scared or confused by her own dreams. 

"You don't yell at me, Lucifer!" 

Somehow, her words seemed so vain in front of a being like him. But all the while, they sounded concrete. It was, if she thought about it, the very first time they were sincerely talking to each other. 

No lies. 

No masks. 

Just the detective and the Devil. 

"You don't yell at me, because I don't know a _shit_ about all this... Stuff. Devil, hell, holes in the clouds, angels! I know nothing!" 

Now she was the one who was yelling, while she let out all the things she was experiencing: rage, fear, confusion. 

"Oh you don't know now, mh? How long have you been having those dreams? You're not even scared of me! One of us is lying, here, and it's not me, detective!" 

"Lying? _Lying_ , Lucifer? What the hell are you talking about? I always, _always_ had dreams like these, but I never saw you or the Devil or I don't know who! I only know that I'm angry at what those people were doing. And they didn't give a shit about what I felt! "

They were inches away from each other, now, both infuriated. Rigid in their postures. And eyes in eyes. 

_Red versus blue_. 

"I didn't know who you are until now. And you wanna know why I'm not running on my heels? Because you can be this... _This_." She gestured to his figure "But you're still the man who broke me in million pieces when he decided, without a word, to run away. So no, I'm not scared. _I'm furious_." 

The Devil disappeared, leaving a flabbergasted man in front of her. 

And that infuriated her even more. So, she did the one thing she had imagined for days: she slapped him. Hard. 

" Why? Why did you do this to me? "

Hand on his cheek, Lucifer looked at her - truly looked at her - for the first time since they met again. Reddish eyes, pale face, pale lips... And he felt every inch of her pain on his own body. Because he had been the one who did it to her. 

He had broken his detective. 

"I... I did this to protect you. To give you a choice." 

"... What?" 

Her voice steadied, this time wanting to understand once and for all the meaning of his absurd rambling. 

"I discovered something... I don't know every detail, but apparently you're a miracle. You were conceived under divine circumstances... So I thought that my Dad created you to be with me. As another of his tricks to torture me... And you deserve a choice. The dreams you have... I don't know why you're having them, but I truly believe this is all a machination"

"A machination? So what? Your Father... _God_ likes to play matchmaking? Lucifer, doesn't it sound absurd even to you? I mean... You don't know the reason, _we_ don't know the reason but you decide one day to give me a choice? By depriving me of my free will? By hurting me without an explanation? And basing it all on a supposition? " 

The Devil stayed quiet for a while, mouth half opened while he was pondering her words. 

And the more he thought about them, the more he convinced himself that what he did... Had just been another one of his mistakes. 

Fuck. 

_Holy fuck_. 

" Chloe, I... "

"You what? You're sorry? I don't know if this time it will be enough" 

Tears spilled from her eyes, and he wanted so badly to remove them... 

He had ruined everything. Maybe he had lost her once and for all, and not because she was running away from what he was. 

But from what he did. To her. 

"I know..." 

He murmured, looking sheepishly on the ground. 

Then, her phone rang, breaking the heavy atmosphere.

"Dan?"

She answered quickly 

"Chloe, someone broke in..." 

An explosion made the room vibrating violently. She looked at Lucifer with worry in her eyes. 

Another explosion. 

And the world turned black. 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if I'll update this soon.  
> I'm not in the mood. But still I already wrote this chapter, so I decided to publish it before I'd regret it :')

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not having a Beta AND I'm not English so... Please, be good to me! It's my first story here!  
> Comments and critics are very, very welcome!


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